my friend made a twitter for her 9 month old baby and she wonders why i don’t want to hang out with her anymore
good luck with Muk and its poison gas
make one wrong move and it’ll kick your grass
hey sheldon, what’s up?
the ceiling, of course
[extensively long laugh track, continuing on for minutes, breaking on hours. audience members are slowly dying of laughter, unable to stop. the actors want to cry out in grief for them to stop, but they are on set. it is a massive tragedy]
applying for a babysitting job like “do u have experience with children?”
*punches you in the face*
PERFUME YOUR NECK AND SLIP YOUR HIGH HEELS ON
I just ordered the Naked3 palette
why are drag queens either seven shades too tan or pale as absolute fuck?
I’ve never liked the Sound of Music and Carrie Underwoods acting is not making me want to like it…
bitch turned herself into a god damn teletubbie